Texas Thunderstorms

Crashing lightning jars me from night, splashing splattered stars across the bed; I shudder and turn, slumping into the lulling sound of rain and sleep, sleep punctuated by shattering light and noise; I turn and breathe from an open window into the night. The storm cradles my slumber, trussing my sleep. Don't wake--the night howls. I gaze-blink past the alarm clock, the rumpled sheets and extra pillows to the glimmer on the blinds.

Saving daylight?

Daily savings time is an uncomfortable intrusion by people who are not satisfied with the gridding of natural cycles and series into manageably conceptualized units to which we are, at least, adapted, but feel the need to pull us all into more "productive" organizations of time. I think of those arguments for allowing babies to eat and sleep in their natural rhythm (parents, usually mothers, adapting to their child's heartbeat) and those for insisting that babies adapt to adult society's ordained schedules, and I feel infantilized just remarking the changing of the diurnal schedule. Why should I notice? What has really changed and why do I feel that change has occurred? Here it is a spring summer Sunday, not too different from last Sunday-- the day is moist and green, the sun subdued as the smell of showers lingers-- but now my mind registers that it is twenty to six when my body says only minutes to five, and the affective dissonance feels as palpable as rain-soaked air.

I don't like daylight savings time, although sometimes I enjoy days' lasting sunshine, at least until late summer scorches the grass. Twilight summers don't beg to be deferred, though; fireflies and starlight are not lesser cousins of the sun. The truth is I never adjust to the changed hour of rising, and so for months I push resentfully out of bed before sunlight, before I am ready, longing for fall. My father would say, "don't wish your life away." But, if it is last fall I am wanting, would I still be wishing for time to pass or would it be for time returned?

And if in wishing for autumn I wish for time returned, would it be with the knowledge and experiences that I have gained (one hopes) in the months endured during daylight "savings" time? Then I might feel I had saved something.

What is this daylight that we are saving? I have a snowball in my freezer, from the best snowfall in central Texas in twenty years, Valentine's Day. . . It looks a lot like the icy frost collections otherwise residing in that space, but it is the real thing, a bit of winter "saved," which I will visit and perhaps even spend one day when the cactus blooms. But what of this saved daylight will I have for another day, when the sun is obscured and the fine lines around my eyes more than whisper?

The day begins with birds

Flowers fall away and green leaves emerge on days like these as the sun travels across the lawn. The day begins with birds, flirting in the mulberry, quarreling at the feeder, glancing uncertainly as they fret to and from the tiny birdhouse in the corner of the patio by the great windchime. We wonder how their interior spaces must appear after so many seasons, so many generations of nesting. What becomes of the accumulation, those bits of twig and string and caterpillar grass. . .? The eggs rest on ancestry, fledglings cuddled like a new story spieled in oral history fed on regurgitated bits of earthworm, seed and beetle.